There it is.
January 1.
Circled in red on the calendar, it has become the mythical magical day we choose to make all of the big changes that will offer us that new beginning we seek (or have been conditioned to believe we should be seeking it). It happens every single year. The onslaught of "New Year, New Me" and "This will be MY year" posts that flood our social media can be overwhelming. Out with the old, in with the new. We make these grand resolutions to get out of debt, go to the gym every day, eat healthier, drink less alcohol, spend more time with the kids, drink more water, do all of the traveling, etc... Let's be real, friends, that's a lot of pressure to put on a single day, not to mention ourselves, and while the concept of resolutions is rooted in good intentions, it tends to set us up for failure. We want to do the big things and we want to make our lives less stressful and achieve all of the goals. So, let's break it down and talk about how forcing these resolutions can actually cause more stress in our lives and why we need to find a more sustainable, mindful, wellness approach.
O.K., it's December 31 and the list has been written. In the journal. On the refrigerator. In our phones. WE ARE READY TO DO THIS! Motivated and pumped and the plan is in place! Now what happens? We might stick to things for a day, a week, or even months. However, the first time we oversleep and miss our meditation or workout, or have a rough day and overindulge at the local retail establishment (it's Target. We all know it's Target), it can bring on feelings of guilt or shame. That starts a cycle and we might feel frustrated and not talk to ourselves with the kindest words. You know how it goes. "I can't believe I did that." "I don't have any willpower!" In return, we vow to "do better tomorrow" or "start fresh on Monday" and before we know it, we feel like we have failed and maybe just give up all together. Some of us might continue that loop of start, fail, start again, fail again, and so on until the next December rolls around and we wash, rinse, repeat. Meanwhile, none of these actions are allowing us a mindful existence. We are worried about what we should be doing or will do tomorrow instead of focusing on what is happening now and crushing our own peace by believing that we can't do it. So how do we do better for our lives without falling into that trap?
Mindful wellness simply means we do things because we deserve to, as opposed to the idea that we have to or need to. For example, something I hear regularly from clients when I ask that ever-dreaded water question (IYKYK lol) is that they don't drink as much as they should or they know they need to do better and they don't know why they can't seem to get it right. By reframing that statement to acknowledge that our bodies feel better when we are hydrated and we deserve to feel good in our bodies, we can shift from a blame game to empowerment and mindfulness. "I deserve to feel good and I can drink more water to feel better in my body" sure feels a whole lot kinder than "I know, I'm not drinking enough and I need to do better." You can feel the tonal difference in the statements and by honoring that, we can slowly begin to alter our self-talk and be more mindful with our wellness.
Does this mean we can't set goals for the new year? Absolutely not! However, resolutions are feel very much like ultimatums. "I will" "I have to" "I'm going to" and that doesn't feel good.
When we allow instead of forcing, the changes come organically. Take a look at some more examples and how simple changes in our internal dialogue can shift from a chore or expectation to mindfulness.
Resolution: I will eat only lean meats and vegetables and go to the gym four times a week and lose weight/build muscle/run x miles etc. etc.
Mindful Wellness: I deserve to eat foods that make me feel good and will be mindful of how I move my body to feel my best.
Resolution: I am going to journal and meditate every morning and evening.
Mindful Wellness: I know that journaling and meditation helps me process my day and I will be mindful to allow myself to make them a priority in my daily routines.
Resolution: I will be debt free by MM/DD/YYYY
Mindful Wellness: By being mindful of my finances, I can alleviate some debt and relieve some financial stress.
Mindfulness is simply defined as being conscious and aware while living in the moment and being attentive to the emotions and sensations surrounding those moments. Now be honest, it is daunting and frankly incredibly overwhelming to feel like we need to write out a list of things we must do or change about ourselves at the beginning of the new year. That notion is almost as pervasive as the commercialism of the holiday that precedes it. (I could write a novel about my opinions on that lol)
Again, am I saying to not to utilize the changing of the year to implement positive affects in our lives? Not at all! I am simply offering the option that you allow yourself to live your best life because you deserve it and not because you feel the need to take part in something because you "should" or "have to".
Being mindful is being absent of expectation. Living in the current moment and the now without force. When we shed the demands, we open ourselves up for the good and by allowing mindful wellness rather than forced resolutions, we are able to also rid ourselves from the pressure of completion and enjoy the fruits of our joy in a peaceful, natural manner. Go on that walk because you enjoy the fresh air and seeing the neighbors dog three doors down greet you, not because a list you wrote out told you that you have to walk for 15 minutes every day.
And remember, they call it a practice for a reason. ;) Be nice to you!
My hope is for each of you to have a happy, peaceful New Year! I am blessed to be able to do this thing I love so much for another year and as I continue to be mindful in my own life and work towards deepening my personal practice, I am grateful to have each of you on this journey with me. It is no secret that the past two years have held some interesting challenges in my life, and I cannot begin to express the gratitude for the support I receive from each of you as I have moved through those. In 2023 I hope you will notice a shift in the energy at the shop and in your sessions as I begin shedding things that no longer serve me so that I can be at my best to help you live your best lives.
Namaste,
Chrys
Comments